Queen
“Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”
Esther was an orphan. She was adopted, but she grew up with feelings of loneliness, rejection, and feeling forsaken. She was grateful for Mordecai, but she wondered about her parents.
Did she dare to dream? She accepted life as it came—as it was given to her. She learned self-preservation at an early age. As a coping mechanism. As a survival tool.
Obeying helped her to survive. Rocking the boat had consequences, so she had to suppress. Stifle her own emotions—her own feelings. Her own thoughts. Go with the flow.
Did anyone ask her what she wanted? Did anyone ask her about the vision she had for herself? How lonely and frustrated she must have felt, trapped even. To be seen for her beauty but not truly seen, not truly heard.
She would never have imagined being in a palace. But she was there. She was favored by everyone she encountered. But favor had consequences. Hated by the other women in the harem. Not able to be free in her own skin. Hated for being her.
But she had to keep going. Put on her mask and keep going. Pleasing everyone is how she survived. It’s how she got to where she was.
Up until now, she had to hide. Hide her identity, her family, herself. Hiding became her refuge.
All of a sudden. All of a sudden, there was a shift. Mordecai was at risk. The person who saved her. He was telling her to go to the king. To step out of the status quo. To do something different. To reveal who she really was. Fear crept in.
She could no longer hide, no longer mask, no longer please. She had to be bold. She had to decide for herself.
She chose God. She dug deep to find who she always was. She had known God Almighty because He had gotten her through. So she fasted. She found her God, and she found herself. She went boldly before the king because she knew who was backing her. She went with a strategy, but most of all, she went as herself.
She was more than she thought she was. She was always a queen. Even as an orphan girl, she was always a queen.
